Scamspam response competition

Gmail’s venerable spam filters have let pass a surprising piece of junk mail today. A letter announcing the intention of one Msr. Mutombo Dikembe of la Fondation de Dikembe Mutombo (a little known french alternate universe version of the well known Dikembe Mutombo Foundation?) to impart a gift to me in the name of Jesus Christ. Is this, perchance the real Dikembe Mutombo of NBA fame? To quote René Descartes’ last words, “I think not.”

(Dikembe Mutombo)

So I’m going to host a competition. Take your best shot at a response to this impostor. The winner’s response will go to the sender on Wednesday, January 16. Moreover, I’ll continue to publish the correspondence as it grows, to this blog, to my pownce account, myspace, facebook, and everywhere I can – with full attribution and links to your site. I’ll even send you a t-shirt.

The original (french) solicitation is below. Why is it in french? Who knows? Does that lend it an air of authenticity? I’ve also translated it into english (with help from babelfish, which ain’t that good, but considering the original french is atrociously awful in the first place, I couldn’t bring myself to translate manually and waste the keystrokes). You decide in what language to make the response.

On your mark, get set, go.

Cher Monsieur,

Que la Paix du Seigneur soit avec vous.
Je suis Mutombo Dikembe et je suis anime par la volonte de Dieu avous
assister financierement.
Je sais que vous etes surpris comment j’ai pu avoir votre adresse.Un
frere m’a parle de vos bonnes oeuvres,puisse Dieu vous benisse au Nom de
Jesus-Christ.

Je priais a Dieu pour savoir a qui et ou je devrais faire ce gestede
bonne foi,avant que ce quelqu’un me dise de vos bonnes activites,et dans
mon esprit et ma conscience,je sentis que vous etiez la personne
ideale pour recevoir ce don.

Merci de votre devouement et amour pour notre
Seigneur,Jesus-Christ.Veuillez-bien me repondre des reception de mon message.

Que Dieu vous benisse.

Mutombo Dikembe

rough babelfish translation:

That the Peace of the Lord is with you. I am Mutombo Dikembe and I am animate by the will of God avous to assist financially. I know that you etes surprised how I could have your adresse.Un brother me A speaks about your good works, can God benisse you in the name of Jesus-Christ. I requested has God to know has who and or I should make this gestede good faith, before this somebody tells me your good activities, and in my spirit and my conscience, I felt that you etiez the person ideale to receive this gift. Thank you for your devouement and love for our Lord, Jesus-Christ.Veuillez-well to answer me of the reception of my message.