Baby Bumble Bee

A new take on an old classic.  Yes, Conner’s totally over it, but that’s what the sedatives do.  And now for a sharp turn deep into mundane silliness…

Biography

First off, I’m an Information Architect for a living. Owing mainly to that, I’ve got a real love-hate relationship with the more cannonical organizational schemes for websites. Especially blogs. Now, most of the time I live in the -love- side of the street, but all these blogs, microblogs, whatevers, et cetera are playgrounds and I kind of treat them as such. So hopefully you’re not the kind of dork who gets all self-righteous if the “About” page is off-topic. And if you are, well, I love you but get over it.

So when I grabbed this blog address a few years ago, here’s what was going on: I had used wordpress as a stand-alone on a number of sites, including my own, way too personal blog site. Any veteran WP users can attest to the spam/hijack vulnerabilities that such installations represented. After a couple of years of it, I was fed up. I got tired of the constant vigilance involved with maintaining WP on my server, so I was drawn to this easier way.  I found a kickass subdomain on WP, traded in my domain addiction for simplicity, and washed my hands of the hassle.  I’ve been let known that I “should” post a lorem ipsum generator on this site, but there are a bundle of good ones out there already. If that’s what you’re looking for, follow this link.

Second off, I do relatively serious stuff a lot of the time (read: work). Which makes me a frustrated artist. Yeah yeah, it’s a stereotype, but it reflects reality. It’s not to say my job’s not creative, because it sure can be and often is. But I went to school not once, but twice, for fine arts. BFA 1994 from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (no, I wasn’t pals with David Sedaris, though we shared writing workshop teacher Jim McManus) and MFA 1997 from the University of Oregon. Both degrees were, more or less, in painting. I taught painting at the Savannah College of Art and Design from 1997-2001. I showed and sold paintings pretty intensely. Painting was my life until my second son was born, which was only 8 years ago. So to end up practicing something as straight-laced as IA for a career means there’s a flipside that needs some serious outlet time. No single dumb blog’s got the facets to be the everything, but this is sometimes a good start.

Some of the rest, in no particular order:

I also spend cycles analyzing anatomies and classifying various types of tweets and trying to figure out the inflection of that galaxy.
I’m genuinely into the structures, movements, & relationship potential of social networking.
I paint when I can, I make things like furniture and dinner and all that jazz.
If you’ve ever gone to a Rite Aid to buy pencils and been shocked to find one in your pack of 10 replaced with a counterfeit pencil made entirely of wood, lacking lead or eraser, I may well be the responsible party.
In 1998, I opened an online confessional called confess-it.com, and received/collected thousands of mostly boring submissions – and a handful of the most disturbing confessions I’ve ever read. Confess-it.com is online today, but updated and changed and operated by New York State Council of the Arts.
I’m also responsible for a modest number of photos on flickr, and you can check them out but I’m not making any quality claims.
I’m the single father of three totally kickass kids who challenge me to grow more than I’m comfortable with nearly every day.

If you want to get in touch with me, use the contact/comments thingy on this site. I get stuff, and I write back. Follow me on twitter too if you don’t already. Find me there at www.twitter.com/texburgher and follow. And be good. Until then,

Geoff

The meaning of the word Interrogatory

Yesterday, I came home from work to find 50 pages of questions in my mailbox.  Not just any questions, but questions from my ex-wife’s attorney: “Interrogatories.”  Questions about where I spend my money, where I earn my money, whether or not I’m seeing a psychiatrist.  All told, over 150 questions designed to uncover hidden money, embarrass, harrass, and ruffle feathers.

This, from a woman who spent half of our marriage lying about her alchoholism and drug abuse, keeping herself drunk or high all day long, even while at home with our kids.  A woman who refused to work (thanks, drunken incapacitation) while claiming parental duties precluded her ability to do so.  From a woman who, in the end, had three affairs – in order to end the marriage.

I can’t fathom the real purpose of this document.  I can’t imagine she really believes I’ve hidden assets, income, etc.  It’s deeply ironic to me that a document designed to uncover waste and misspent money where none exists to uncover, will cost her thousands of dollars she could (and clearly should) devote to her own support, to our children’s needs, to her betterment.

Is there a form I can fill out that will simply demonstrate that, while I had nothing to hide and wasted nothing, she squandered thousands trying to quench her endless thirst for conflict?

Finally, a discreet cure for your embarrassing flatulence odors!

Last night’s fun-filled trip to The Silk Elephant for Thai food, drinks, and revelry with friends led to a not-so-fun-filled wake-up this morning.  An abundance of spice made my belly ache terribly and the first two hours of the day were spent moaning and wishing for a magical cure for my pain.  Luckily for my girlfriend, but painfully for yours truly, there’s been no release/relief, and the search for an easing of the pain has yielded a hilarious – and potentially useful for you, dear reader – discovery.

Behold, Flatulence Deoderizer!  This handy youtube video will explain the “installation process,” which in and of itself landed it a spot on this blog.  Enjoy:

Elliance Pittsburgh2050 Party webcast

The Elliance Pittsburgh2050 party – broadcasting live now on ustream.  If you’re in the area, come on down. 

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/elliancelive 

Scamspam response competition

Gmail’s venerable spam filters have let pass a surprising piece of junk mail today. A letter announcing the intention of one Msr. Mutombo Dikembe of la Fondation de Dikembe Mutombo (a little known french alternate universe version of the well known Dikembe Mutombo Foundation?) to impart a gift to me in the name of Jesus Christ. Is this, perchance the real Dikembe Mutombo of NBA fame? To quote René Descartes’ last words, “I think not.”

(Dikembe Mutombo)

So I’m going to host a competition. Take your best shot at a response to this impostor. The winner’s response will go to the sender on Wednesday, January 16. Moreover, I’ll continue to publish the correspondence as it grows, to this blog, to my pownce account, myspace, facebook, and everywhere I can – with full attribution and links to your site. I’ll even send you a t-shirt.

The original (french) solicitation is below. Why is it in french? Who knows? Does that lend it an air of authenticity? I’ve also translated it into english (with help from babelfish, which ain’t that good, but considering the original french is atrociously awful in the first place, I couldn’t bring myself to translate manually and waste the keystrokes). You decide in what language to make the response.

On your mark, get set, go.

Cher Monsieur,

Que la Paix du Seigneur soit avec vous.
Je suis Mutombo Dikembe et je suis anime par la volonte de Dieu avous
assister financierement.
Je sais que vous etes surpris comment j’ai pu avoir votre adresse.Un
frere m’a parle de vos bonnes oeuvres,puisse Dieu vous benisse au Nom de
Jesus-Christ.

Je priais a Dieu pour savoir a qui et ou je devrais faire ce gestede
bonne foi,avant que ce quelqu’un me dise de vos bonnes activites,et dans
mon esprit et ma conscience,je sentis que vous etiez la personne
ideale pour recevoir ce don.

Merci de votre devouement et amour pour notre
Seigneur,Jesus-Christ.Veuillez-bien me repondre des reception de mon message.

Que Dieu vous benisse.

Mutombo Dikembe

rough babelfish translation:

That the Peace of the Lord is with you. I am Mutombo Dikembe and I am animate by the will of God avous to assist financially. I know that you etes surprised how I could have your adresse.Un brother me A speaks about your good works, can God benisse you in the name of Jesus-Christ. I requested has God to know has who and or I should make this gestede good faith, before this somebody tells me your good activities, and in my spirit and my conscience, I felt that you etiez the person ideale to receive this gift. Thank you for your devouement and love for our Lord, Jesus-Christ.Veuillez-well to answer me of the reception of my message.

JibJab President Bush Birthday Greeting

My sister’s birthday is neigh. To help her celebrate it, I sent her this card from JibJab.

Since vodpod doesn’t work and WordPress is apparently not friendly with me vis a vis embedding videos, here’s the link. Plain old fashioned link. Grrrr.

http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/view/oNi1Qj9KDVPasKEG1SqQLxOR

Black & White

God reminds us in so many ways not to judge – indeed not even ascribe meaning to – a person’s skin color or race.

CNN reported this week on Fox anchor Lee Thomas’ experience with vitiligo, a pigmentation disease that causes a failure to produce melanin.  Lee Thomas is black, but in his words is “…turning white on television and people can see it.”  The report describes, in only glancing detail, Thomas’ experience with the revulsion and judgment of others as his disease has become more apparent.  (Read the original story at:  http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/12/18/turning.white.ap/index.html)

In the 80’s, Eddie Murphy mused in an SNL skit that the world of white people is so radically different from the world of black people that it can only be found out through artful infiltration.  (video embedded below)  Are the negative reactions Thomas and others afflicted with vitiligo receive indicative of xenophobic fear, or a kind of racism?  How far in the US have we come, regarding matters of race and racism, since Michael Jackson was taunted as “not even black” when his vitiligo became apparent?  Since Eddie Murphy satirized the racial divide on NBC?  We’ve come a long way since slavery, but prejudice remains – its eczema coats our consciousness.

Beyond the shadow, doubt

Well, it’s official: The US economy has the whole world worried. This week, the fed not only lowered interest rates, but also spearheaded a bold new inflationary initiative by which 40 billion dollars per month will be dumped into the global economy for months. It’s all about fluidity. But what about the value of what the US actually produces and contributes to the world? Doesn’t it freak people out that 70% of our well-being is dependent on consumer spending (how many big-screen televisions we buy, how much we waste eating out, etc)?? It freaks me out.

Do we see the shadow of doubt before we see doubt? We can’t spend our way out of decline, people. We’ve got to work our way out of this spiral, or surrender to it.

(pic courtesy of a friend of a stranger connected to a friend.  click it to enlarge.) 

Here comes another bubble

Having recently declared to a few colleagues that we may well be already in the midst of a recession, how can I resist posting this video discovered today?