Who says presidents need to be edu-mc-cated anyhow?
October 7, 2008
A modest proposal
When it comes to job qualifications for the role of President of the United States, let’s do away with archaic showstoppers like “well-educated.” Shall we?
After all, our current president “earned” his undergraduate degree from Yale University and his MBA from Harvard. While some have argued Mr. Bush was able to gain admission and enough credits to graduate only by wholly relying on his family connections, let us assume for the sake of argument that his poor showing as President is instead a reflection on the decaying quality of higher education. Let us embrace this assumption and conclude that top-notch education is, in fact, detrimental to one’s preparedness to lead the United States. It’s worthless. If the best education in the world made spit’s difference in forging leadership qualities in those who undergo such rigors, we wouldn’t be in the mess in which we find ourselves today.
And if you can swallow that line of argument, then buddy have we got the presidential ticket for you! You guessed it, it’s the everyman’s ticket: McCain and Palin. With investigative research and commentary by Laura Hayward, and with the caveat that Wikipedia has been found to be occasionally imperfect, we present to you the comparative guide to the educational backgrounds our 2008 Presidential & Vice Presidential candidates.
Check out McCain’s class rank at US Naval academy!!! What a Maverick!
McCain entered the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis. McCain came into conflict with higher-ranking personnel, he did not always obey the rules, and that contributed to a low class rank (894 of 899) despite a strong intelligence.[9][11] He did well in academic subjects that interested him, such as literature and history, but studied only enough to pass subjects he struggled with, such as mathematics.[4][12] McCain graduated in 1958.
Sarah Palin, on the other hand had a hard time staying put anywhere for more than a semester…and no offense, but has anyone heard of these schools??
In 1982, Palin enrolled at Hawaii Pacific University but left after her first semester. From there she transferred to North Idaho College, where she spent two semesters as a general studies major. From there, she then transferred to the University of Idaho for two semesters.[11][12] During this time Palin won the Miss Wasilla Pageant beauty contest,[13][14] then finished third (second runner-up) in the Miss Alaska pageant,[15][16] at which she won a college scholarship and the ‘Miss Congeniality’ award.[17] She then left the University of Idaho and attended Matanuska-Susitna College in Alaska for one term. The next year she returned to the University of Idaho where she spent three semesters completing her Bachelor of Science degree in communications-journalism, graduating in 1987.[11][12]
Admittedly, Biden ranking is not much better than McCain’s, but at least he’s honest – he was lazy!
Biden attended the University of Delaware in Newark,[10] where by his own later description he was a lazy student.[11] He graduated with a Bachelor of Arts with a double major inhistory and political science in 1965,[2] ranked 506th of 688 in his class.[12]
Finally, someone with a strong academic record qualified enough to be leading the country!!! (Oh wait…we almost forgot that George went to Yale & Harvard, proving that education is worthless.)
Following high school, Obama moved to Los Angeles, where he studied at Occidental College for two years.[10] He then transferred to Columbia University in New York City, where he majored in political science with a specialization in international relations.[11] Obama graduated with a B.A. from Columbia in 1983, Obama entered Harvard Law School in late 1988. At the end of his first year, he was selected, based on his grades and a writing competition, as an editor of the Harvard Law Review.[19]
McPalin no McDucks Story
September 23, 2008
I think perhaps the most lucid 30,000-foot view of the prospect of Sarah Palin becoming Vice President (and very likely President within a couple of years) was articulated recently by Matt Damon when he compared the possibility to a “really bad Disney movie.” When you realize the truth in his comparison, realize also that this is the script – the playbook – the McCain campaign is following. Running a campaign is all about writing a story, and they’re writing their story according to a generic formula with which we’ve all got womblike comfort – the Disney formula of plain-old-gumption triumphing over massive, sophisticated machineries. In the Disney movies, it always turns out those machineries are dopey and weak (which of course they’d have to be for a hockey mom to stare down Putin), but that fairy tale conception of the world doesn’t usually reflect reality. That’s why these movies make so much money: they are rooted in fantasy and they facilitate a deeply craved escape from reality. A real McCain/Palin presidency won’t follow the movie-version path.
Real tragedies happen. McCain/Palin is a tragedy of epic proportions waiting to happen to the American people and the world. Let’s not invite us in as if it’s an innocent remake of The Mighty Ducks.
Fandango Sucks & Cinemark does too
July 31, 2008
UPDATE 3
And it gets even more better…
Dear Geoff,
Thank you for your email and interest in Fandango.
Our corporate office has informed us that your refund has been processed. Please allow a few business days for the refund to post to your account. Again, we would like to apologize for the issue you encountered at the Cinemark 18 & IMAX Theatre.
If you have any further questions or concerns please let us know.
Have a great day.
NOTE: Please do not click the reply button. Emails sent to this address are not read.
To send a response to customer support, please click the following link, or copy and paste it into the address line of your browser:
http://fandangocust.suth.com/ticket.asp?ci=269043&tn=07318487GB&rn=080731-000051&fm=1Best Regards,
Erin
Fandango Customer Support
www.fandango.com
Wireless access: mobile.fandango.com
If they get all the way to the finish line on this (credit issued as promised), I’m going to be pretty impressed. And I’ll say so, and let people know that Fandango appropriately resolved my issue. 
UPDATE 2
So I heard back from Fandango again today. Pleasantly surprised with how smoothly this has gone:
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show details 11:24 AM (3 minutes ago)
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This message is to inform you that your refund request has been processed and should be credited to your account within the next 3-5 business days.
——————————
UPDATE 1
I received an initial response from Fandango this afternoon. Long-winded, but encouraging. Now waiting 5-7 days for follow-up from the appropriate department. Here’s what they sent:
Dear Geoff,
Thank you for your email and for taking the time to voice your concerns.
We would like to offer our apologies for the less than perfect experience you had with Fandango and our theatre partner, Cinemark 18 & IMAX Theatre. This is not the experience moviegoers who use Fandango should have.
When ordering through Fandango, the sale is made directly through each individual theatre’s point of sale system. We can only sell tickets if the theatre’s system indicates that seats are available. If a show does not have seats available when you arrive at the theatre, then there has been an unusual operational error at the theatre. Fandango is an independent company providing show time information and ticket purchasing for several theatre chains throughout the country, but does not participate in their business operations.
We will be contacting Cinemark 18 & IMAX Theatre as well as Cinemark corporate management to inform them of this error and work with them to prevent similar errors from happening in the future.
Most of our theatre partners prefer to handle all their own refunds and exchanges, this is why our FAQs ask you to contact the theatre directly. However, Cinemark theatres are the one theatre chain that cannot compensate our customers, as you may have noticed we do request that our customers who have purchased for a Cinemark theatre contact customer service directly for further information. For this reason we handle all refund requests for Cinemark theatres. Please also note that if you are directed back to Fandango by any of our partner theatres we will gladly help resolve the issue.
We have forwarded your email to the appropriate department for further investigation of your refund request. You will receive a follow up contact in the next 5 to 7 business days at the email address you have provided to us.
Fandango processes thousands of orders without incident and we regret that yours was one that met with difficulty. We are continuing to grow and improve, and we truly hope you will give Fandango and our theatre partner, Cinemark 18 & IMAX Theatre, another chance to prove ourselves to you in the future.
We appreciate your understanding and we thank you for making Fandango your choice for online movie tickets.
NOTE: Please do not click the reply button. Emails sent to this address are not read.
To send a response to customer support, please click the following link, or copy and paste it into the address line of your browser:
http://fandangocust.suth.com/ticket.asp?ci=269043&tn=07318487GB&rn=080731-000051&fm=1Best Regards,
Erin
Fandango Customer Support
www.fandango.com
Wireless access: mobile.fandango.com
INITIAL POST
My experience with Fandango sucked. It was my first, and will definitely – DEFINITELY – be my last. What is the point of buying tickets in advance, paying 20% as a “convenience fee” (where the convenience is clearly for Fandango+Cinemark), to then show up for a movie in which there are no remaining seats?? Cinemark wouldn’t do anything for me: Since I bought my tickets online, they said, I would have to take up my complaint with Fandango. (Never mind the apparently irrelevant fact that Fandango sold me tickets – as a Cinemark partner, to a movie at that Cinemark theater.) Fandango’s customer service FAQ says I can’t be helped, and tells me it’s Cinemark’s issue to resolve.
Fandango and Cinemark each point the finger at one another, each blaming the other and directing me to take up my complaint with someone else. Nobody’s responsible. And that’s a hallmark theme of crappy customer service: NOBODY’S RESPONSIBLE.
So I’m starting an “Awareness Campaign,” during which I will chronicle my efforts to recover $24 spent for goods never received. Below is my first letter to Fandango, written after having failed to find resolution either on their site or at the theater itself last night. I’ll update the blog with developments, links, etc.
To whom it may concern,
I purchased tickets to Dark Knight yesterday, and when I arrived at the theater there were no seats in the theater! The manager of Cinemark 18 in Tarentum PA told me they could not issue refunds BECAUSE I BOUGHT MY TICKETS ONLINE.
I don’t care what relationship the theater and Fandango have. That shouldn’t matter to the customer. I paid MORE for my tickets online (including the unbelievably obnoxiously named “convenience fee” of 20%), drove 15 miles, and couldn’t get a seat in the theater!?
This is totally unacceptable, and I demand an immediate refund. If the refund is not promptly made, I will open a fraud investigation through my credit card company.
Sincerely,
Geoff Barnes
And folks, please share your Fandango stories here too. Your effort in doing so will not be wasted.
Are you smarter than an American?
December 16, 2007
They should rename the game show. The humiliation this woman should feel is beyond words. Here’s wishing that American men and women everywhere will let their vision wander beyond the dashboards of their worthless Escalades and Hummers, and take it upon themselves to become meaningfully aware of the world around us.
When I grow up, I want to work in advertising
November 28, 2007
“I want to be so far removed from day-to-day business that I’ll need a crane to pull my bloated head out of my ass.”
Why do we do it? Why do we aspire to so many of the things parodied in this video? It’s not just us in and around advertising and marketing either. It’s all of us, it’s the nature of the corporate ladder, the rat-race, and maybe even competitive spirit. Are we all condemned to this vapid life?
In 15 years, the percentage of American GDP accounted for by consumer spending has gone from 63% to 70%. That jump should be so profoundly startling that it makes any American run for the hills to live in primitive isolation for fear of otherwise imploding with the rest of the country when the house of cards comes down. 70%.
Arsonists confirmed perps in California fires
October 25, 2007
A CNN report today confirmed that the fires currently raging through southern California were indeed set deliberately with the intent of spreading rapidly out of firefighters’ control. With this discovery, the only question remaining is which terrorist organization is responsible for setting fire to California.
In unrelated news, the US announced sweeping sanctions against Iran today.
At the beginning of the current school year, Avonworth Elementary School dropped a bomb on its students and their families. The bomb arrived on a pink sheet of paper, one of nearly 40 pages of unorganized, unstructured “announcements” that made their way home in my son’s backpack during the first week of school. Verbatim, it read:
8/27/2007
This year Avonworth Elementary is going to adopt a more educationally sound scheduling practice. Beginning this year we are going to be on a five day rotation cycle. Instead of Monday through Friday, we are going to follow a Day 1 through Day 5 schedule. This revised schedule will result in no students missing their specials class. Most of our scheduled Inservice/Act Days fall on certain days of the week. (We missed over 9 Mondays last year). The Rotation Day Calendar will be sent home to you with your child at the beginning of each month so you will know ahead of time what specials class your child has. Calendar could change due to inclement weather also, and if that happens you will receive another revised calendar.
If you have any questions, please call me at (number removed).
Sincerely,
(name removed)
Elementary Principal
Note: This letter is published on the Avonworth Elementary School website. You can view the entire letter here.
Here’s what the resulting calendar looks like (click it to enlarge):
There’s so much to say about this, but so little required – it seems to me. Where should I start?
At the beginning of the school year, Monday was Day 1. All was well with the universe. But the universe has since changed.
Within a month, Day 3 was falling on a Monday. By mid-October, Day 2 will replace Day 3 as the Monday designation. Or is it that Monday is now falling on Day 3 and will soon fall on Day 2? To me, that’s the source of the problem here: Which way of conceptualizing the week is primary? The answer is so obvious that the question is absurd. The implicit claim here is that the importance of In Service / Act days supersedes everything – even the thousands of years old established system of the weekly calendar. They have embarked upon a rewrite of one of the cornerstones of industrialized civilization – because the CHOICE between fewer In Service days and kids missing P.E. was one they couldn’t stomach.
When I was younger and more revolutionary, I was taught (and I embraced) that if we don’t like the way the world works, we can and should endeavor to change it. But this change is so disruptive, so out of sync with the rest of civilization, that it has the effect of turning its back on the most fundamental purpose of education: to prepare kids to participate in the established world into which we all must flow. To me, this is a fundamental, stark betrayal of that obligation. Though dressed in terms like “educationally sound,” it is functionally insane. It disrupts and confuses students and parents alike. I fear it serves only a narrow group of special interests, with perspectives too myopic to be entrusted with my children’s sound education.
Leave OJ Alone!
September 18, 2007
They repossessed his Bronco! I love it.
Looks like poor OJ Simpson just can’t catch a break. Did’t Capone finally go to jail, not on charges of killing 1000’s, trafficking illegal substances, extortion, etc, but on tax evasion charges?
My favorite part about this latest OJ eruption so far was OJ’s assertion that he was “conducting a sting operation,” to get his stuff back. Is that what they’re calling armed jackings in South Central LA too?
Don’t look now, you’re being redirected.
September 13, 2007
How much Amazon.com stock does Southwest Airlines or CNN hold, anyway?
Though I’m loathe to admit it, I found myself looking up the term, “halter-style dress” today while reading a CNN.com story on Southwest Airlines recent altercations with two different women who were admonished to cover up before boarding flights run by the carrier. Apparently, Southwest’s “The Love Airline” image is shifting from its hippie 1970’s incarnation to a version updated to fit the times. Huh?
At first blush, I thought less of Southwest. What business is it of theirs who wears what for a plane ride to wherever? I tried to imagine Greyhound imposing a dress code – de facto or written – and laughed. (Before you get upset with me, think for a minute about your last bus ride across country.) A plane is just public transportation, after all, even if the ticket to ride can run you some big bucks.
Or maybe, I thought, there’s a deep thought here regarding public appearance, social respect, and etiquette in a civil society. A cursory reading of the yahoo! message boards and CNN’s “sound off” module cleared up that misconception in a flash. It seems pretty self-evident that there’s always a push-and-pull between individual freedom and collective accommodation. Nothing new here. Just a couple of emblematic incidents whipping up the tiniest bit of public discussion.
No, I don’t think it’s about the debate, and I don’t think there’s anything insidious going on at Southwest (or at least if there is, it’s not being reported on CNN). But you can bet there’s something going on somewhere. Someone I respected once said, “Every time someone tells you to look up at the sky, he’s got his hand in your pocket.” Don’t look now, there’s a Southwest plane flying overhead.
iPromise
September 10, 2007
How’s your iLife going?
I’m asking because I’m curious. I’m curious about whether or not your iLife is what you’d imagined – what you’ve been promised.
Mine isn’t, but I’m not surprised. Consumer advertising, after all, promises us far more in regards to products and services than what any product or service is capable of delivering. Deep spiritual satisfaction from a walkman? Social fulfillment and a permagrin from a hard drive full of jpgs? Become the toast of your friends (which of course, number in the scores and consist of supermodel geniuses and dapper playboys) thanks to your German engineered car? I learned fairly well to look through the veneer of consumer advertising when I was a freshman in college and read Ways of Seeing, by John Berger. But consumer advertising is an adaptive beast, relentless and ever more persuasive.
In a world where massive, empty promises are routinely made, what are the consequences for our expectations of the world – most specifically and critically of the other people in our lives? After all, people make and keep (or don’t keep) promises. Implicit, explicit, marriage, work, etc. If any number of 1,000’s of things in the world can be promoted as panaceas for a yearning in us (a yearning I’d say has been amplified and manipulated to respond to the promises of advertising), what kind of fulfillment expectations arise? Am I likely to work through a difficult stretch in a relationship when I’m pretty well conditioned to believe there’s a newer, better one out there that will require less work and will provide greater – if not complete – fulfillment?
iWonder, if we stripped our world of the context of accepted empty promises of fulfillment, would we re-adapt and learn to nurture our relationships better? Would we still have a 50% divorce rate? Consider this passage from an article on Askmen.com, wherein the author plainly argues that women and men change after marriage (for the worse) and that doing so is fundamentally unfair:
Why shouldn’t one have a say if their wife or husband puts on too much weight from sitting on the couch and eating nachos all day? When you buy a car, a BMW for instance, you expect it to remain a BMW. The car won’t become a GoodYear blimp with time, it will inevitably get old but will always remain a BMW.
This, from an article categorized under “marriage advice.” Complete article on Askmen.com. Would anyone else read this and wonder why, oh why, anyone would compare a person to a product and expect a human being to behave like a car? Yet, I find this way of “philosophy” prevalent. And seeing its prevalence turns me away from marriage. It’s not the changing spouse I’m afraid of – it’s the likely expectation in her that I’ll be like that car. It’s the shameful recognition that, in me, there’s the same expectation of her.
It’s the knowledge that we all judge one another against the expectations made by impossible promises – iPromises, if you will.
